Equality in Gaming Pt.1

If you’re looking for an article about body positivity and repealing unrealistic media conceptions of attractive, this is not that article. I won’t be getting into that here, but maybe later. No, this is about Eye Candy when gaming. Specifically about how, when men get cute women who are anatomically impossible yet ravishing, women are stuck with beer-gutted couch potatoes.

This is about equality. Specifically, equal opportunity eye candy.

   I can’t begin to explain how irritated I was when I first started playing Age of Conan, gearing up for my summoner to get her first incubus, so I could get him all conjured up, only to receive…a weird spiky beer gutted slob. What the hell is up with that sexist crap??? I mean men got these gorgeous curvy demon ladies and I got “Bob who part-times as a reject plumber and has a bad skin condition”. Now, nothing against Bob and I’m sure there are some people who are into that, but hells, I wanted my lithe and long-haired romance novel cover. I wanted hotness, and washboard abs and a tight nicely rounded butt. I wanted long clean limbs and smoldering bedroom eyes. Not some idiot low-level demon who looked like he’d be happier on a couch with a sad size sack of Cheetos and a case of beer.

What kind of demon is that anyways? Sure as hell ain’t an incubus. Ew.

This is what male summoners got. So much sexism.

More recently I’ve been bopping around Astellia, which is slated for a North American release. And again, you have perky anatomically impossible yet sexy ladies and my male toy support pet choices? Little boys and one maybe male character who is nothing more than a floating set of haunted robes with glowing eyes. What the hells?! Seriously, guys.

Female assassin in catsuit, angel warrior, yet only children and animals for women.

Eligos-the closest you get to an eye candy battle pet for women in Astellia Online.

I get that you like to watch pretty stuff bouncing around your screen, all impossibly shaped, slender, graceful and dewy-eyed, or vaguely dom centric with their leather and chains (looking at you bondage nun scholar outfit)-but where are my men??? Sorry but little preschool boys are just ick and while I know that rule 34 exists, textiles, however ragged and glowy-eyed just…no.          

Give me glistening chests, vivid eyes, shiny hair and something to ogle on my way through the countryside. Nearly half of the video game population is female, yet where is our representation? Where is our eye candy, dammit ?!? I mean superhero movies can do it-look at Aquaman, Thor, Captain America…even superman has that second-skin tights thing going on…#youknowwhatImean. Rawr.

Spray on suit or latex fetish? Why not both!

I mean it’s not like you don’t have the male power fantasy types and body type models already in existence. Dress ’em up and send ’em out. We’re not asking for all new art or models, you don’t need to even put that much effort in. Hell, I’d be just as happy with a handful of recycled models from male character creation with some palette swaps and tight clothes.

Think Geralt and his bare torso and gritty appeal, think Tera and skimpy castellan males, or the signature Sephiroth, bishie to millions. Heck, even Blizzard is now starting to offer a happier eye candy experience with male characters being able to hide their chest armor-keep fighting the good fight my muscled and be-abbed boyos. You’re doing the game deity’s good works, there, men, keep it up.

Ooooohhhh…scars and pecs-that’s what we call a double feature! Mmmm….

And sure there are some ladies who are ladies’ women but let’s face it, those women are for the menz. That some women might enjoy the eye candy too is largely incidental,  and what about men who want *male* eye candy? Gimme some equality here, fight the system, gamer equality-give me some of that damned eye candy, give me some beautiful men to ogle, do it for me, do it for women everywhere.