Full disclose: I don’t like black coffee.
I love the smell of a fresh brew and even the roasted beans themselves, but its bitterness leaves me wanting… for milk and sugar or a sugar-based flavoring, that is! Once this metamorphosis takes place, I would take any day of the week! Yet, somewhere along the lines of custom flavorings and kale-infusions, coffee has been reduced to the role of a weak supporting character, not the bold, strong, brash, leading-man-of-a-beverage it was meant to be. The leading culprit and subject material for this review? West coast-spawned, brew blaspheming hipsters. This is our review of Hipster Attack on Steam.
Hipster Attack is a hilariously tongue-in-cheek, stylized 2D tower defense game in the same vein as Plants Vs. Zombies. In Hipster Attack, you must protect your beloved city and their coffee shops by keeping hipsters from gathering. You will do this through the power of coffee.
In Hipster Attack, coffee fuels an army of Human Resources workers with job applications and CVs at the ready along (since hipsters are apparently allergic to work) with a cast of security guards, logistics staff, and cleaning ladies who have no love for these bearded blogging Bohemians. It is the currency that you will use to place extra units on the board. Thankful, you can place extra coffee makers to keep that magical ebony draught flowing.
You will also have an arsenal of special abilities to ward off the invading hipsters and to leverage the synergy of your working professionals. Place hipster traps with lattes and thick sunglasses for timed takedowns or place a treadmill to keep hipsters in place while they are being peppered with job opportunities. You can teleport your units across the board where their expertise is most needed and can caffeinate your employees for a powerful burst of damage. These are just a few of the power-ups at your disposal, but they require cash!
Cash is earned the good, old fashion video game way: by beating it out of your enemies. You can collect cash as it drops from defeated hipsters or you can earn it from your higher-ups. In each level, there will be balloons to pop, workers to protect from the masses, and by keeping hipsters from congregating. If you can do this, your higher ups will be sure to raise your cash flow.
While it takes inspiration from Plants Vs. Zombies, Hipster Attack builds up to a frenetic pace of positioning your employees just right, clicking on Flying Tofu or spinning vinyl discs of doom to protect your team, and collecting coffee. Each unit has their strengths and weaknesses, so you must be wise where and how you position your literal human resources to stave off the hipster tide.
While it does deliver some new mechanics, Hipster Attack does fall prey to the same pitfalls as a tower defense game like it’s predecessors: monotony. Once you establish a rhythm with how your units work and what is the most effective against which hipsters, you can easily fall into a rut of using the same units over and over again.
However, this routine is shaken up in special levels or boss fights. The only other downside is that in full screen mode, I can’t find a way to exit the game without going to my Task Manager. Maybe I’m just blind… or need some more coffee!
Hipster Attack is $2.99 USD for iOS, Android, and Steam.
Note: Our copy was reviewed on Steam with a code provided by PR.
COMPARE TO: Plants Vs. Zombies
