I Love You Colonel Sanders: A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator is KFC’s very own twisted take on video games. Come join us as we garnish this review with cooking puns and get all fried up about this corny dating sim.
That’s right, KFC made a game and for those of you that aren’t aware it’s probably been some time coming. The KFC Gaming is twitter handle is known for its food based shenanigans and the odd unusual addition to internet meme culture. Now developer, Psyop, has delivered the chicken king’s order with an appetizing mix of a dating simulator, anime action, visual novel, and even the odd nod to old school RPGs. If you’re in any doubt, follow us on our review of this fast flavourful feast for the soul.
In an attempt to be the very breast chicken shop game, this ode to otaku visual novels opens with what can only be described as a cross between an otome love ballad, a slice of life anime, and food wars all condensed into under a minute of blistering fan service. Bright colors, a spirited J-Pop soundtrack, and the colonel scream across the screen in an effort to distract you from quite how silly this is all going to be.
Thankfully, the game doesn’t let up from this point on, and it certainly isn’t out to take itself seriously. As an up and coming master of the kitchen, players find themselves thrust into a brand new college, The University of Cooking Shcool: Academy for Learning. On the cusp of a full time course crammed full of the culinary arts, you and your best friend Miriam set out to ace a famous three day semester that will make or break a band of new students. To add to the student deaths, culinary hijinks, and plotting that comes with the start of every semester, yes really, a mysterious man wanders in class. This mustached maestro hasn’t set up his chain shop of legend quite yet and as the days progress, it’s up to players to overcome al the odds and woo Sanders San.
These spicy characters are the core of I Love You, Colonel Sanders. An obviously quite ridiculous range of heroes, villains, and just utterly bizarre characters are practically torn straight out of other adventures for this game. Form awesome pop titles like JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure to games like Persona, you might spot a few favorites here. The game’s primary antagonist and sworn enemy Aashleigh and her cohort Van Van could come straight out of a dozen anime that I’ve watched of late. These characters are as over-stimulated and exaggerated as Van Van’s spectacular pecs, making for the type of silly nonsense that only gets better when you find out that the class teacher is a talking corgi, because of reasons.
As this nonsense kicks off, things heat up in the kitchen quite quickly. The romanticized feasting, the swooning protagonist, and the glares of your competition all kick off. It takes the type of tongue in cheek writing that makes titles like Monster High a riot and then adds eeeg-xtra cheese. Still, the combination of kitsch contrivance and the silly setting is still better written than many anime I’ve endured.
AS things progress in this visual novel, you’ll expect few difficult choices. It’s all likely to be around whether to grab the last piece of chicken or cook with the Colonel. Mostly, its nothing short of a light novel without the heavy petting. I Love You Colonel Sanders isn’t exactly hen-tai. It’s nearer to a fun frolic than a serious otome adventure. As things progress you’ll either love or hate the contrived situations, the cook offs that descend into mashed potatoes and gravy, or the nod to turn based JPRGs.
In the end, this is a fast food adventure. KFC isn’t traditionally a five course banquet and that’s not what you’ll get here. I Love You Colonel Sanders: A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator is a short, devoid of any really serious game changing choices, or any long term progression. It is, however, a gorgeously constructed distraction. Psyop smothered this experience in a unique blend of the colonel’s highly skilled animators, and it shows. What little you get to play is actually a delight to click through. I Love You Colonel Sanders: A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator is not going to overcomplicate things. Just like any outing for a chicken dinner this is a winner winner but don’t expect the anything overcomplicated in this freebie with sides-quests. I Love You Colonel Sanders: A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator is out now on Steam.