Is Bezos An MMORPGer?


With my favorite MMORPG this minute New World mere weeks from launch, one question burns deep within my soul, is Jeff Bezos an MMORPG? Before you scoff and point out that he is in fact, an astronaut, not an MMORPGer I would counter by pointing out that that is exactly what an MMORPG would do if they had his money! Well, that, and fund an MMORPG – ah-hah! Now you see it. Let’s just take a little looksy at the evidence, shall we?

(puts on a diving suit and begins to go deep)

We all know that if an MMORPG fan had the money, they would try making their dream MMORPG; that is a given. But wait, there’s more evidence than that! This deep dive takes us back, way back, to a world before Amazon, before cell phones, before the internet itself! In 1982 he attended the Student Science Training Program at the University of Florida. Sounds pretty MMORPGer to this raconteur! He graduated from Princeton in 1986 with a degree in what? Electrical engineering and computer science! Boom! Things are looking solid, and we are just beginning kids! Throughout the rest of the 80s, he held several positions, all of which were related to technology, sounds pretty gamerish to me!

Bezos 1

This is where it gets real serious, in 1994, he founded Amazon as an online bookstore. Yep, you read that right. Our guy is hardcore into books which means he is probably also into pen and paper and RPGs! WOW! And it’s no coincidence that Amazon is online, just, like, MMORPGs! Then there’s the logo; it looks so much like an MMORPG logo Sigil Games logo appears to have been inspired by it! The evidence is overwhelming, and we haven’t even hit the 90’s yet! Did I mention Amazon’s original name? It was none other than Cadabra, as in Abra Cadabra, as in magic! Who uses magic? Lord of the Rings. What are roughly 97% of MMORPGs calling back to? Lord of the Rings! BAM! More Proof.

(Rolls up his sleeves)

I am just getting started. In 2007 Mr. Bezos created the Kindle. Why? Let’s let him answer that one. According to a 2008 Time profile, Bezos wished to create a device that allowed a “flow state” in reading similar to the experience of video games. Clearly, this guy games. His wealth surpassed $100 billion for the first time on November 24, 2017, and he was formally designated the wealthiest person in the world by Forbes on March 6, 2018, with a net worth of $112 billion. This guy doesn’t just play MMORPG cash shops; he plays them IRL as well!

Bezos 2

Let’s jog through some of his purchases, shall we? In 2014 he bought Twitch. He also invested in Second Life and Kongregate. He has RPed (role-played) as a cowboy, space cowboy, world boss, end game boss, and he bears an uncanny resemblance and origin story to Super Lex Luthor. Last and most importantly, Amazon purchased Reflexive Entertainment in 2008. Reflexive Entertainment was later renamed what? Amazon Games! Abracadabra!

I know what you are thinking, but wait, there’s more! We just got to the hard stuff. What type of game would this brand new studio try first? None other than an MMORPG; enter New World. Why oh why would a new studio try to make one of the hardest, most complex, most niche, most fail-riddled, and more expensive games right out of the gate? Just as importantly, why would they brave making an entirely new IP when Amazon could just buy a popular IP that would surely make selling the game easier? This is where it gets good!

(clears throat)

The decision to make a new IP based on a supernatural take on the colonial era is so specific and so strange and so illogical that my personal theory is it could have only come from one place, fandom. That’s right; I think it came right from the man on top of the phallic rocket himself! If I had the money, and he does, would I make an MMORPG based on one of my favorite eras? Yes, because that is what all MMORPGers would do, and I believe it is exactly what Mr. Bezos did! I dare say it; the man is one of us! Just to seal the deal, the studio began work on a second MMORPG based on what? The Lord of the Rings! (flips table)

Bezos 3

If the glove fits (and you aren’t rich or famous), then you call a spade a spade just like The Rock and say it loud and proud; we believe Jeff Bezos is an MMORPGer! Looking at his accomplishments, I’d guess he is a min maxer and achievement type as well. He probably plays a tank on a role-play server named Jeff Bardos, and everyone thinks it’s just because his warrior character has a back story about how he was a bard. If I had to guess… The real question is, which guild does he lead because clearly, this type of gamer would be the leader of his guild.

So what does this world’s first news mean for MMORPG fans? I’m not sure, but New World is a good MMORPG, and if it means I have to send one of us to outer space to play it, so be it. After all, if New World rakes in the money, and it is trending to, it might get the new Lord of the Rings MMORPG uncancelled. Plus, it’s a fun game with the best MMORPG game world this old MMOer has ever had the privilege to step a digital foot in. Combat is deceptively complex, smooth, and enjoyable – and this is from a tab target 1-5 kind of player that worried he lacked the twitch skills to hang.

Bezos 4

The PVP and PVE mechanics need work, and they need to grow, but that will come with time. This one has good bones, it feels like a hybrid of the old MMORPGs before WOW and modern technology, and last but not least, it might have been the dream of one of us…if you think there is any evidence for that. First Bezos conquered the world, now he built one, and if I had to pick between the two, I would be inclined to live in the latter. If any of you bump into Cody Rhodes, let him know he fears me. /bow /wave /logout

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